a note to my treasured community:
as i sit,
less than 2 hours before my relaunch
i find myself somewhere between
my purpose in life &
recipes for imitation crab
which expires? today
(444dust song just came
on SHUFFLE!
are you feeling it yet?)
that’s like Hard af Mode Deluxe(tm)
this world
this country
this state
is just not too hip on being kind
to my folk and folks like me.
if that wasn’t a hostile stage enough,
i also have buckets of oceans full
of personal trauma
which i sometimes look at
and shake my hands at
and wonder what
tf do you want me do?
like it will give me an answer
and then i’ll be free.
i realizing now it might not work like that.
i’m on a quest to be /really/ me—
no imitation.
i don’t know when i “expire”
and i also don’t pretend to know
what that even means
but i feel inclined to declare
that today
the day the imitation crab expires
(and 10 days before the ghee expires)
(my mind works in kitchen)
i am me. really me—wait
for it—
/really/ river.
brick by brick
i’m going to get nice
and comfortable with what
that means.
some bricks taken away
some bricks moved around
some bricks left alone
some bricks will break and make sound
i am here
and i choose to have no choice
the only way to be me
is to use my voice.
i hope along the reclaimed buildings
and appropriate rubble
you will find yourself found
im curious, what does being you look and feel like? how/do you feel safe and supported in that endeavor? what helps along the way? <3
shoot me a message where you know me or send me an email really.really.river@gmail.com
as always,
with glee and open space for you,
river